Ever find yourself waiting for those months of pregnancy to go by?

I remember this happening to me as a first time mom. I would go through through all the information online about my baby’s development week by week, the photos, the videos, the tips on how to cope with my week’s physical changes.

Then, knowing my baby was the size of a peanut, apricot or banana and that they were beginning to look less like an alien and more like a human, I would feel like…now what?

Where else could I look for info on what was going on with my baby?

Thankfully, I was already studying prenatal psychology and the wisdom of Kabbalah which were pointing me deeper.

How to Influence Your Baby (Beyond Food, Sleep, And Exercise)

I knew that I must take a another step to actively participate in my baby’s growth and development in the womb.

Thankfully, we don’t really have to do anything for our baby to grow in our womb, but I learned that there is a lot we can do to be a better environment for our baby.

Beyond healthy nutrition and prenatal vitamins, on a slightly higher level, most of us know that babies are also greatly effected by mom’s level of stress.

A little bit of stress is OK, but too much stress has been shown to have negative effects on your baby.

So we know how important it is to stay calm, to have our pregnancy be as stress free as possible.

But it turns out, that that is just part of the full picture of how we influence our babies during pregnancy.

Research Findings From Prenatal Psychology

Research has shown that parents provide non-genetic contributions that dramatically influence the development of their offspring.

“Through his mother’s emotional responses (both positive and negative), the unborn child gets a preview of the environment he is going to be born in later on and gets prepared for postnatal survival through behavior “memories”, “fetal programming” and fetal “filters”.

This means that a baby learns about the external environment through their mother. Her behavior, emotional states and cognitive responses teach him whether it is a safe or unsafe environment.

The baby learns whether it is safe to be open to experience, curious, and sociable. Or, if reality is a place to protect yourself, be cautious and afraid. 

The mother or better say “the maternal environment” passes down to the fetus her own perceived attitudes about life!

Isn’t that amazing?

The person that you are, will influence who your baby will be.

Your baby experiences life together with you, how you react to things, how you relate to other people.

Your child learns life skills and relationships while in the womb.

This is why it’s so essential that we be the best role model and environment for our babies as we can be,  and be mindful of the examples that we are teaching them.

In other words, the quality of the prenatal education that your baby receives determines the quality of life they will also enjoy post-natally.

Yes, it’s a lot to take in, but it’s not meant to make you feel nervous! It is meant to make you feel like you have a huge opportunity to actively effect your baby’s well-being and future….and grow your own awareness, life skills and relationship skills in the process!

Rather than wait for those days and months of pregnancy to go by, we can actively work to connect to our babies, talk to them, teach them and become the best role model we can be for them- through self development and spiritual practice.

What to Teach Your Baby: A Practical Exercise

A great first step to becoming the good role model for our babies during pregnancy (and beyond), is to take a journal, or a piece of paper, and write down what it is that you want to teach your baby.

How do you want your baby to think about life? What do you want them to know? How do you want them to behave towards other people? Do you want them to be sociable? connected? empathetic?

These are things you will want to be modelling for them, and talking (or reading) to them about.

From my perspective as a psychologist, and a spiritual teacher, here are some things I would write down and recommend for you to focus on as you think about what you want to teach your baby: 

1. Connection

Our connection to our baby is the most fundamental element in determining our baby’s well-being.

When you work on bonding with your baby, and connecting with them- you are teaching them about life through their very first relationship: their connection to you.

Even from the very first weeks of pregnancy- from the second month or so (which is around the time you find out that you’re pregnant) you can start talking to them, you can start bonding with them, and sharing this intent for connection with them.

This healthy attachment will be the source of their self confidence and emotional stability, as well as the foundation upon which they will create all other relationships in their lives. Pretty big deal right?

We also want to model connection for them, in our own behavior towards other people around us, as I’ll elaborate in the next point.

This is because our world is moving in that direction! It’s becoming more and more interconnected and in need of positive relationship skills.

In fact, research shows that social skills are the key to career success. So when you give your baby positive examples of connection during pregnancy, you are setting them up for success in life.

2. RELATIONSHIPS  

The most important relationship for you to model to your baby is of course your relationship with dad/your partner! They are a part of the triangle that makes up your pregnancy. They influence the baby too. 

A baby can feel their father’s presence within the first 5–6 weeks of pregnancy. So the way dad approaches you and the baby, and the way you and dad interact, can teach your baby about relationships.

Again, we need to remember that their brains are being wired in the womb, so everything they feel (even if they can’t interpret it yet on the same level as an older child would), is still collected and stored as early impressions in their memory. 

You want to make sure that your relationship with dad models the kind of relationships you want your child to have when they grow up.

This is a big one! We all need to work on this together!

(Stay tuned for more to come on that!)

3. A Mindset of higher purpose

This is another extremely important message to give to your baby: the sense that life has a purpose.

It’s part of the positive mindset that helps a child prosper.

A mother who has a sense of purpose, gives her child confidence in life and direction right from those very early months.

Your sense of purpose will help your child be more resilient in how they cope with life challenges.

The meaning and purpose you assign to life is personal, but for me, having a purpose means knowing that life is a process of evolution that is directing us at all times, and teaching us how to be the most loving, conscious, and fulfilled human beings possible.

My kids also get that message from me that life is purposeful, that it has direction, and it is love.

So  don’t wait for the baby to come to teach them about life. 

Connection , positive mindset and higher purpose are all things I believe are important to teach ourselves, so we can teach our babies and children.

This makes pregnancy a huge opportunity for growth and self improvement!

This effort will not only benefit our baby, but help you become your own best self too!
Did you resonate with this article? Share your thoughts in the comments!

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And if you want to give your baby the best start to life, watch my new workshop on thriving in uncertain times!

Your thoughts, feelings, and perception of reality influence and shape your growing baby. Having a positive outlook on everything going on in the world right now is important especially for pregnant moms! The workshop is available for instant access!

Author: Tal Mandelbaum
Tal Mandelbaum is a trained social psychologist, a spiritual teacher and a mom of two. She teaches online courses and workshops for pregnant mammas, who want to have a calmer, healthier more consciously connected pregnancy. Follow her on Instagram for more pregnancy insights and inspiration!