Polyvagal Theory and Our Need for Connection

Today, I want to share with you a little glimpse into the essence of our life, through Polyvagal theory 🙂

Say what?!

Well, if you have never heard of it before, Polyvagal theory is a psychological theory that was first developed in the 1990s by Stephen Porges.

It explains the science of connection, offering a map of the nervous system to guide our exploration as well as skills we can practice to strengthen our ability to anchor ourselves and each other in safety and regulation in the midst of challenges.

Here’s where it gets really interesting to me as a researcher of our reality. The more we delve into how we are built on the inside, on the biological level, the more we discover that we are *wired to connect*!

Indeed all of Nature is a system of interconnectedness. Our biology is no exception!

The only thing that exists OUTSIDE this program of connection is us, humans. Not our bodies, which operate harmoniously without our conscious participation, but rather our psychology. Our minds and hearts, or what I call “ego-consciousness”.

You see, the default state of consciousness with which we are born is one of separateness. It takes us  very little time  to realize that we are separate entities. Soon after we start to compete, compare, and judge others, always seeking to feel good within our self, to get the toy the other kid is obviously enjoying, because, well, WE are what matters most.

The problem with humans is that, unlike animals that instinctually keep the harmony with other species and the earth, Nature gave us a strange capacity to think, feel and behave without any consideration of that at all. According to ancient wisdom, the reason that Nature gave us this abnormal and destructive capacity, is that as the most evolved creatures on earth, we are supposed to learn how to harmonize ourselves with everything around us *consciously*!

That’s our work here! That’s where life is leading us.

Back to Polyvagal Theory.

Our body (which is essentially an animal) operates according to the same natural law of interconnectedness. As far as our animal side is concerned, we are social bonding mammals.

However, when it comes to our more evolved human brain, we have some traits that are NOT really about connection.

Throughout history we have becoming more and more individualistic.

These days, our consciousness is one of individualistic separateness. We compete, compare, and judge others, always seeking to feel good within our self. 

Now, there’s nothing wrong with feeling good…in fact, it’s the purpose of life! However, unlike animals that instinctually keep the harmony with other species and the earth, Nature gave us a strange capacity to seek our pleasure (to think, feel and behave) without any consideration of that at all.

😳🤔

According to ancient wisdom, the REASON that Nature gave us this abnormal and destructive capacity, is that as the most evolved creatures on earth, we are supposed to learn how to harmonize ourselves with everything around us *consciously*!

That’s our work here! That’s where life is leading us.

Until we do that, it’s not only Nature that suffers from our lack of connection with each other and with it.

When it comes to our nervous system, all of the separateness, loneliness, negative competition, and judgment rampant in our western, individualistic cultures, is incredibly stressful and harmful.

Our nervous systems truly need connection and safety with others, and we need to learn how to create that in our lives.

We have to learn how to rise above our separateness, to create harmony, connection and inner peace instead.

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Leave a comment below if you want to hear more about Polyvagal Theory, how to balance our nervous system and align with Nature, so you can be healthy, happy and whole!