We all experience conflict in our relationships.

Whether it’s a recurring argument over something you and your partner just can’t agree on, or random distancing because of slight annoyances that pop out of nowhere, conflict is a natural part of any relationship.

The only question is: how fast will we move past these hurdles? and… will we let them control us? Or, will we have the awareness and know-how to turn these hurdles into opportunities for greater love and connection.

Why is this worthwhile investing effort in?

Because the benefits of having harmony in your relationship are huge! From decreased stress levels and enhanced health and longevity (as research clearly shows), to giving the good examples to your children and close environment that will be carried on for generations. It’s just worth so much to invest in!

Let’s go over two important tools that will help you take control of the fluctuations in your relationship and create harmony, happiness and joy.

The #1 Tool to Making Things Work

A skill that is a must have in any relationship is Conscious Listening

How you listen to your partner will have a profound influence on the way you take them in, appreciate them and relate to them. Your listening habits as a couple will determine whether you find yourself bonding, or arguing.

Conscious listening is not just about hearing what your partner has to say, but wanting to feel them, to really know them deeply. 

It’s moving our self focus towards our partner little by little, to perceive more of how they see reality.

This is so important because it’s only when we can truly sense what we need from one another, that we can connect and feel satisfied in our relationship!

When we feel that someone is really listening to us, it helps diffuse a lot of the negative emotion and frustration that builds up in our life, and could otherwise bottle up and create havoc in our relationship.

For more practical steps on how to listen consciously in your relationship, download my FREE guide right here:

Tool #2: How to Be Smart, Even When You’re Right? Resist Your Automatic Response!

The second tool is all about dealing with conflict in the moment.

Even when you have dedicated time and effort to listen to your partner, get to know them better, and deeply connect to them, conflicts are bound to come up.

Relationships are dynamic and we can be triggered by a myriad of events, behaviors or even something that is said in a way that defies our expectations.

How we react to these triggering events is crucial.

If you can manage to delay your automatic response of judging, criticizing and blaming, you will solve 99% of your relationship problems! 

Delaying the response doesn’t mean you avoid the issues that need to be confronted, it simply means that you raise them in a manner that is effective and does not start a fight.

Avoiding the immediate urge to lash out or criticize makes room for you to later approach your partner calmly and tell them how you felt, and how you chose to not make a scene about it (because you love them! Yes, say it!).

This approach will make room for a much more accepting, open conversation.

Conscious listening, as well as resisting your automatic responses are two tools that put together, can completely transform your relationships.

Remember to have compassion for yourself!

Relationships take work, and practice makes perfect!

With willingness from both sides to change yourselves you will find that you both grow as a couple and as individuals!

Did this resonate for you? Let me know in the comments!