What to Do When the Ego Shows Up In Your Relationship

When the ego shows up in your relationship, you will know it because you will suddenly discover some sort of rift, disagreement, or disappointment between you two. 

It can be a major flaw in your partner’s behavior that suddenly looms large, a letdown, or a full-blown fight. 

Whatever it is, it’s no coincidence! These situations come along for a reason. 

Like all the things that happen to us, we are constantly being given lessons to help us grow towards our higher states of being- which are loving, and enlightened. 

When the ego shows up in your relationship, it’s asking you to rise above it, and love your partner in higher quality, more enlightened way! 

What does this mean? 

Say your partner behaved badly. You were hurt. Does this mean you stop loving them? Well, instinctually, you do. When someone hurts us, we don’t like it! We feel let down and distanced from them. But if we want to experience higher, conscious, pure love- we need to be willing to love our partner WITH their flaws, and the patterns/behaviors they came into the relationship with. 

That way, we are actually loving THEM, and not how they make us feel! (does that make sense?)

If our partner always made us feel good, we would never have a chance of learning how to love outside of our mechanism of self-gratification, hence we would not grow towards true, higher, spiritual love. 

This is not to say that it’s okay that they hurt you, or that you don’t need to talk about it and let them know what you DO need and want. This is important too. But you can still love each other, see the GOOD things in each other, and work on your relationship, without letting the ego drive you apart. 

This means seeing your partner with compassion, instead of anger, being able to forgive, and helping them learn how to treat you through your calm explanation, and example. 

Note: if there is violence, abuse, or substance abuse, please get help, but otherwise, this is a formula for relationship success!

If the ego shows up, remember it’s no coincidence! It’s a test of love, let it lead you to consciously love your partner.

There is no greater success than this. 💕

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Author: Tal Mandelbaum
Tal Mandelbaum is a trained social psychologist, a spiritual teacher, and a mom of two. She teaches online courses and workshops for spiritual seekers, who want to have a calmer, healthier more consciously connected relationship with themselves, others, and spirit! Follow her on Instagram for more spirituality insights and inspiration!