How to Be Truly Happy
A couple of days ago I attended a really lovely social gathering of psychologists and therapists.
One of the participants, a PhD in psychology, shared that though she had all kinds of things on her “to do list”, she decided to make the get-together a priority.
She said she had been making an effort to make room for “goodness” to enter her life, and was wanting to discover what that actually looks like. Saying “Yes” and coming to a gathering with other therapists to connect and be together, was a step in that direction.
I thought that what she shared was so true and important to linger on.
Our lives can be so full of “doing”, busyness, and often pressure! But what are we actually doing that makes us feel GOOD? What are you prioritizing for the sake of that goodness?
And if we were to really ask that question and ponder it deeply, then what IS that good that is missing in our life?
I invite you to ponder these questions when you have a moment to be alone with your journal, or out in nature, your pick!
Think about how you can make more space for goodness to enter your life and what that looks like for you.
In my research of life, and from my knowledge of psychological research, I have come to the conclusion that goodness is found in a very specific place.
Contrary to what we may think, it is not so easily found within ourselves (not in the “separate” sense). I have found that true goodness, even the kind we feel deep in our heart, is only really experienced through connection.
This is something we have yet to develop more in our lives, and in our societies at large.
Of course, there are lots of things that make us feel good momentarily. Taking a trip somewhere beautiful, having a massage, eating a great meal. But to really live a life of goodness, science and ancient wisdom both tell us that we have to discover the huge potential for happiness within our relationships and our connection to everything around us.
Yesterday, when we connected in that group of therapists, it was a bit awkward at first, but gradually a warmth began to settle between us. We began to sense the richness that exists in the space between different people coming together.
Each therapist brought her talents and gifts, her unique self with all of its special qualities, and that completed our group, a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts.
I could really feel how the synergy in that connection has limitless possibility, for joy, creation and expansion….if we only know how to use it correctly!
To me, this is the greatest thing we have to learn right now: How to bring together our uniqueness and brilliance to experience our greatest potential for happiness and fulfillment within that connection.
I see and experience it every day in my spiritual work: The field that connects us holds the real secret to our happiness, whether it is in our couple, family, or social bonds.
What happens within our separate self:
Within ourselves, and our ego (the part of us that identifies with our body and feels separate from others), we are prone to all kinds of negative states. Our ego is always comparing, judging and making us feel less than. It makes us feel like what we have is never enough, putting us on that “hedonic treadmill” that never leads to true happiness.
We need to learn how to be free from this inner mechanism, and that can best be done in connection. When we connect with others, we create a shared field that can lift us above our separate selves and allow us to feel full of love instead.
Now, here is where it gets even more interesting!
Nature is an interconnected system, and we are parts of it. When we come together consciously, we can tap into the power of life and love that permeates Nature itself.
I believe (and science and ancient wisdom say so) that this is our next level of human evolution. This is the most powerful form of self healing and personal growth there is!
We are called to discover our next level of development in connection to others, and discover the goodness that it brings to our lives.
If you would like to experience that goodness, and learn how to make more room for it in your life, I will be creating an opportunity for that real soon.
For more details, send me a DM on Instagram (@tal.mandelbaum or click on the journal prompt photo above).
Don’t forget to journal on inviting more goodness into your life, and what that goodness looks like for you 📔 🖊️
As always, you are welcome to comment below and share your thoughts!